Shattered glass and new revelation.

I mentioned in yesterday's blog about how I see just about everything as an anology to something else. This story is no different. 

Years ago when my daughter (now 12 years old) was a crawling baby, I was in the kitchen and I made a ridiculous mistake. I was making rice and had a glass casserole dish similar to this one 

I heated up my butter and sautéed my rice on the stove. Everything was going great. Kids were playing toys and everyone was happy. 

Then I added the cup of water....to the hot pan.....and it shattered. (Rookie) 

Glass went everywhere and cut my legs and arms and covered the floor and counters. The kids were speechless and couldn't figure out where the loud sound came from. 

Once they figured it out they all wanted to run and crawl into the space. I was yelling at them to "stay out, keep the baby away, Do not come in here." 

Everyone was upset and did not understand that I was doing this for their safety....I was not being mean but protective because I loved them. 

Fast forward a few months and we are in January and like many other Januarys, I decided that this would be the year I finally started...and finished my - bible in a year - reading. I started in Genesis - as I always do. I have read it a thousand times. 

This time was different. This time it changed my life. 

In Genesis 3:24 says " After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life" 

Ok so this is good so stay with me. 

When I have read this in the past, my first thought would always be "that seems a little harsh God....why so permanent....why not a warning....?" 

When I read it this time, I saw love and protection. I saw my story of the glass shattering and me forcing my kids to get out until I could make the place safe for them again. 

I saw in the garden the two trees - the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. 

Adam and Eve were allowed to eat the tree of life because they were alive, it kept them in the living state that they were, it kept them connected with God.  They were not allowed to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil "for when you eat of it you will surely die"

Genesis 2:17

The enemy even tried to twist this fact in verse 4 of chapter 3. He tells them they won't die. He is pointing out a physical death. He was right about that but God was talking about a spiritual death. 

Going to genesis 3:22 God says " he must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat and live forever." 

God loves us so much that he knew if he gave us that second chance, if he allowed us to stay in the garden, he knew we would still eat from the tree of life. Since we were in a spiritual death, separated from him, and then eat from the tree of life we would be forever separated from him.

 How heart breaking to be forever separated from our Father??

God had to force mankind out of the garden, he had to protect us for getting hurt until he could clean it up. 

We would be eternally separated from God if we ate from the tree of life. God sent his Son and in John 14:6 "Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." 

In the past I thought God was harsh and cruel to remove us from the Garden of Eden. I now see God as a loving parent who wants his children protected from the harm. He made a way for us to enter back into fellowship with him. 

For that revelation I am so thankful. For God's love I am eternally grateful. 

A bathtub full of toys.

Each year for Christmas my kids get a million toys. With 5 kids and each one getting a large handful of it things is easy to get overwhelmed with the gifts. We allow them to open a few and then keep the rest under the tree. Every couple of days they get to open another gift. This trick has allowed them to play with each thing and nothing gets lost. We even do the same thing with birthday gifts. 

(This is a picture of a space full of toys)

With this over load of things it can become a problem with keeping the rooms clean and Ava is slowly learning how to accomplish that task. A few months ago I went in there and was so frustrated at the amount of things on her floor. I have helped her and I have warned her multiple times to clean it up. I grabbed a handful of trash bags and started throwing her things into the bags. 

At least 5 trash bags were filled and because I had no where to place them they went into my tub. They stayed there for a few months....until now. This past week I have posted about cleaning the kids rooms and changing some things up. Cleaning out the extra toys from the tub have been part of the de-cluttering. 

Today as I ran some bath water for the first time in forever I was thinking about what an awesome tub this is. I was thinking about how many people want a huge tub in their house and yet mine was used as a storage space for so long. I was thinking about what a gift this tub was and how it has been wasted. 

For many people who know me well they will agree that I am the queen of anologies. I learn so many things through seeing a parallel or getting an anology to it. 

So, true to my self and the way my mind works I got to thinking about our spiritual walk and how this bath tub story is an anology to our walk with God. 

When we have a relationship with God we are giving gifts. Sometimes we are aware of them and we use these gifts. Other times we get mad at life or sad at the answer, or don't agree with the outcome and we bag up that situation and we set it aside. 

Here is the problem with that....when we "bag" up our crap and dont deal with our emotions over certain things, that crap starts to fill in the gifts that are meant for use. We get so overwhelmed with the "things" in our life. We push it to the side or even emotionally bag it up because we don't know what to do with the things. 

I have learned that things moved to the side or even moved to the bathtub doesn't get ride of it- the same is true with hurt, rejection, or angry.  

We can move it all we want but until we actually sit down and go through the bags and sort out what is in there we can never fully move into the freedom and gifts that come from emptying those spaces. 

Everyone has gifts and can walk in freedom. If you aren't seeing those gifts of freedom, of peace and joy, then you may want to examine what is stored in your emotional space and pray about de-cluttering. 

I am thankful for the de-cluttering ....physically and emotionally. 

Poetry and scars.

I have been writing poetry for many years. I was in middle school and wrote my first, random poem on the bus while heading to school. It was for fun and not glamorous but it was the start of many stories poured out onto paper full of rhyming words. 

I am actually not a fan of reading poetry. It usually is so far out there that I have no idea what they are talking about. Mine are not that. I take real stories and put it in a poem form. 

Well a couple of days ago I went to Barnes and Noble and bought two awesome recycled notebooks and I started to transfer my poems into these books. 

I have almost 100 poems. 

This could take awhile. 

I am very thankful for this little talent I have.  I have no idea what will come of it and I jokingly say once I die I will be famous because of all my poetry. 

Today while transferring some of the poems I came across one called "Scars" I wrote it back on January 9, 2009. 

This poem is full of things I am thankful for. I could not say it better today than I did back then so I will simply post the poem. 

This is what I am thankful for. 

Scars 

Scars that I hide, that I'm embarrassed to show.

Scars that I remember the story that goes.

Scars that have faded and some that are there still.

Scars that don't show but the pain I still feel.

Everyone has scars related to joy or hate,

but its the ones that bring life that we all appreciate.

Like the scars on my womb from the shots I daily give,

though painful and ugly they are needed for this child to live.

The scars across the chest of a breast cancer survivor.

The husband who loves them b/c it means he does not have to live without her.

The veteran back from war without one of their limbs.

They are sad, yet count their blessings b/c they returned home again.

The mother with her stretch marks that she does not like to show,

though they are evidence of the home where her child was allowed to grow.

A sort of memorial to look back on and remember each time

that life was produced , yet left a scar behind.

Each scar has a story but I believe the greatest of them still,

is the one of the hands where the holes did not heal.

We were lost and dying and quickly needed a breath,

and the only way to survive was through a new birth after Jesus' death.

He had scars on his body and on his head from the cruel crown,

left to die on the cross as it was placed in the ground.

His scars are a reminder of the freedom he wants to give.

We can have it if we want it when we call on His name and live.

by © charlene turney (jan 9, 09)

I don't really like playing make-believe.

The problem with not liking to play make-believe is that I am a mother. I have 5 kids. Kids play make-believe....forever. 

It is a fair assumption that if I don't like that then I don't like playing with my kids and that is pretty accurate. 

I do, however, love spending time with my kids and that is a whole other thing and for that I am so thankful. 

Today ava asked me to play My Little Ponies with her. Her father and I made eye contact and he responded with "she would LOVE to play with you"

 I gave him the wonky eye that said everything to -no I don't, what are you doing, she did ask so sweetly, you play with her you goober, I can't I have the kitchen to clean, and how long will this take - 

I love coloring with my kids. It is simple and artistic. I am artistic so that works well.  I love painting and doing crafts. I love exploring and walking and being outside with them. But I do not like playing toys with them. I know I am not alone in this dislike. I have at least one person on my side and it's my twin. Neither one of us love sitting down and playing Barbies's, ponies, house, or anything along that valley. 

There is something so strong that pulls the other way when it comes to options of play time or anything else. I always want the everything else. 

This is ava being serious about her play time 

I played ponies with her and I was reminded of how it only takes a small moment out of my time to fill their little hearts full of love. Most of us our aware that humans have emotional love tanks. We fill those up different ways. If you don't know how your child or loved one needs to be loved then just look at what they do for you. Do they hug you often, do they encourage you or compliment you, do they make gifts for you, or just ask you to cuddle with them?

Ava always ask me to cuddle with her and I will stop everything to do that and today she asked to play ponies. 

We fixed hair and talked amongst our ponies. About 5 mins into playing I broke one of the tails off. 

I said  "please tell me that was already broken"

It wasn't. 

Could I have done without the play time? 

Yes, of course. I am ok never playing ponies again. But, seeing how happy she was that I played with her, for less then 20 mins, was well worth it. 

I believe so many times we are like that with our relationship with God. We are so busy and don't have time to spend with him. We have dishes, laundry, bills, a party, kids events, or sleeping that steal our time. Yet, all God is asking for is a few moments of our day. 

For ava it benefits her little soul to have her mommy love on her. She told daddy, when he came to watch us, that "mommy is playing with me because she loves me" This is a never changing fact. 

For God it also benefits OUR souls to spend time with Him. We get peace, confidence, grace, and freedom. This also is a never changing fact. 

After we cleaned up the toys we were able to continue our time together doing what I do truly love and that was reading and praying. 

Tomorrow take a couple of extra minutes and play with your little ones. It always amazingly me over the years when I make an effort to play and I mentally set aside (what feels like it will be 4 hours) time to play with them, they are so much better for it. 

 

Last minute invites and rain to cap it off.

Jerry and I are always planning last min parties, we plan ones ahead also but the last min ones happen fairly often. It is usually because we may be out of town so don't plan anything and then for what ever reason, we find that we are home. We then think that maybe there are other friends at home with no plans also.....we should invite them over, this becomes 1, 2, then 3, it's a party. I am so thankful for these random parties. 

We had a great time visiting with friends, new and old, and there we lots of cultures here as well. I love learning about other countries and seeing how everyone blends their difference together and gets along. 

Everyone was also easy going when my place was like a kitchen in the back of an old restaurant and filled with a hazy smoke. Our exhaust filters the air right back into the house so when we are cooking our burgers inside....well it looks like a bar. Caden said " wow, you brought a cloud in here" -enough said. 

Our plan was to go watch the fireworks out on this awesome hill. Our friend Levi told us about it last year and it rocked. The rain had other plans and we were super bummed that our friends from Finland didnt get to see the fireworks live. I really wanted them to experience the 4th with all the bells and whistles that Nashville has. 

No matter what, I am so thankful to have met them while they are here for a year. The husband is doing research at Vandy and they have a daughter that was in Ava kindergarten class. It has been wonderful to meet this sweet family. 

I am thankful to have my kids go to such an amazing elementary school where so many internationals go. They are making friends who will live all over the world. 

Tonight was a blessing because it felt like friends just hanging out and not like I was simply hosting a party for someone else. I got to talk to Charity, Shelly, Riita, Sally, and Mary all at once and at individual times. I am so thankful for that. I have hosted parties before where I finish and feel like I just worked a job. This was the opposite of that.  

I am thankful for friends. I am thankful for an excuse to keep the house clean beside for real, without company there is no reason to clean it lol. 

I did get to watch the last few minutes of the show through the Internet. 

I am thankful for our countries freedom. We live in a place where right now there are so many thoughts about right and wrong and I wont even touch that topic but we can all agree that we are free. Our country is free and I am called to be living in such a time as this. For that I am thankful. 

Meet-greet-eat.

Tonight I am thankful for good connections, fast friendships, and non-awkward conversation. 

Our long time friend Anthony got engaged and tonight we got to meet Sally. 

She is easy to talk to and she jokes around. This is a must for any of our friends - new and old - because we are always joking with people. We have a bit of dry sense of humor and if people don't get it....well we aren't friends. ;) 

We went and showed them the place that our friends Chris and Ada got engaged and even got to talk to the lady who let me hide out of her balcony to hide and take pictures when Chris got down on one knee. The place is AMAZING so we parked and walked down to the restaurant below. 

I am thankful for my health and my ability to enjoy an evening walk. The weather was perfect with just a bit of wind to keep us cool. We even heard the crowds cheering for the US Men's soccer game going on at the LP field. 

We then headed to 12 south and ate at Taqueria del Sol. I got the shrimp and corn chowder and it was so stinking good. I am looked about the recipe and it had 1/3 cup of sugar and lots of heavy cream and even more half and half. I am totally going to try and make it but just tweet it a bit for health reasons. I  am thankful for good food. We crossed the street and ate ice cream. This was my first time at Jeni's and it is amazing how long the line is outside waiting to get in. 

It was great tasting and well worth the wait. 

Throughout the evening there was a large variety of conversation and there was never the awkward pause that no one wants. I don't like those. I am thankful we escaped that. 

My kids are old enough to be the babysitters and I am very thankful for that. No fights and they were all smiles for that. Super thankful for that. 

All in all it was a wonderful, relaxing evening and a great start to the weekend. 

I am also thankful that Anthony caught the dork-ness of this picture bc without that it would have been the only one to post. Can we say hair at tooth making a gap. 

We now have a much better, normal one to post. 

A forced change of pace.

The day started out with a huge goal on the list. Operation re-vamp this crap. 

Do any of you have a kids room that gets dirty so fast that it just makes you angry to walk in there? Well, that is actually how  I feel about my two girls room. I will spend hours cleaning their room, with their help and then one busy day of playing in there and a-get in bed now- mom is done for the day-we can clean it up tomorrow, turns into an explosion of crap everywhere. This can take weeks to recover from. Ava is the sweetest thing ever but that girl is the worst at cleaning. 

I wrote the other day about how I woke up and saw everything that needed to be done....this was a top mark on the list 

Now granted, this picture is taking after we already brought the three buckets in for sorting out goodwill, storage, and keep-in-room piles, but the room still was crazy. 

We worked solid from 9 until about 3 when all of the sudden all power was out for the whole house. Gabi said she heard a loud pop and we looked outside at the transformer to see if it was smoking. 

Upon walking into the alley we saw a dead squirel up there and smelled burning. Eek for the animal and bummer for us. 

What was a project that was coming to a close was at a stand still. We had tons of fake candles and put them in the girls room. Fyi- their room is a middle room and it is big enough for them  but it has no windows. It is more of an extension of our master room but with five kids, you work with what you got. That being said there was no chance of natural light to help us, we needed the candles. 

We were able to move some shelves that Caleb and Gabi did an awesome job early that day putting together. I was able to change some sheets and a few other odd and end things got done but that was it. 

Being that it was Wednesday night it meant church but seeing that I had been working all day and was hardly out of my pjs and now had no lights to help this hot mess, I decided to stay home with the two little ones while jerry took the other three to Bethel. 

After they left I set about gathering most of my real candles and cleaning off my kitchen counter before it got dark. 

I figured this should hold us until the power came back on. I am thankful I save random candles for things like this. 

I then needed to figure out what to do for dinner. We have a gas stove but I had not  lit the fire my self before and didn't really want to blow up the house trying. 

I called my daddy. My daddy knows how to do everything. My husband would have been a big help too but he was now in church so dad to the rescue. He told me how and I did it. 

I will be all dorky saying this but it felt awesome. I was pretty proud of myself. 

I am thankful for a daddy to help me. I am also super thankful that I can do that now and that I had yummy leftovers for a quick meal. 

With everyone gone and it too dark inside to accomplish anything, the younger kids and I went for a walk. I love where I live and I am very thankful for the easy neighborhood to walk around. 

We even stopped at the mini free library and grabbed a book and a toy. If you don't know what that is, it is a small house like box built outside by someone's home near the sidewalk. You can come and take a book or toy for free. They only ask that you drop off a book or toy that you may have that someone else could take for free. 

Here is ava "reading" a book about dogs. She told us to be quite 6 times. 

Back home we found that the squirel was still there and power still off. 

The next two hours were kind of a boring blur. We lit candles, played toys, and used the iPad for a light while it played

Music. 

Around 8:30 Caden said he heard the trash truck but I knew who it was. We threw on our shoes and headed out the back. We were soooo thankful to see these men! 

They worked, the knocked down the squirel, and they replaced the fried line. 

We are happy campers. 

Everyone got home right after the lights came on and had just enough time to do a few more things to the room. 

It is so much better now. I needed things to be completely different. I needed the habit of the ways things were done in the past to be broken. There are some things that stayed the same, like Koris pocket of the room is still hers but now if it doesn't fit in the buckets, it doesn't stay in the room. They are good with this. I believe that even though they hated cleaning their room, they wanted it clean and are willing to let go of some things to get it clean. 

The after results are well worth the, full day and even some of tomorrow, cleaning. 

Our day went nothing like I imagined it would go when I woke up this morning. I didn't get all of the things done that I needed to get done. But we worked together as a team. I am thankful for that. 

When the power went out, the kids were forced to use their imagination. I am thankful for that. With no power it meant no Xbox for Caleb so he played with Caden. 

I am thankful for that too. 

Today was off schedule but it was a good day. 

I am thankful for off schedule days.