Thoughts for Tuesday. Post 2 Green onions

Green onions.

What could I possibly have to say about green onions?

I am so glad you asked. 

Last week I used some green onions for dinner and saved the ends with the plans to put them in my garden and grow my own. 

I set them in a small, empty flower pot and left them. 

I added about 1 tsp of water so they would not dry out until the next day. 

A few days go by and I forget about the green onions ( off to the corner, busy week...you get the picture) 

Saturday night I see them again and they are growing 

Now overall that is pretty cool. I can still plant them and have my onions...BUT...

It got me thinking of an anology. Of course it did, I see everything in pictures and anologies :) 

I thought about our lives and sin. I thought about how as we are growing in areas and wanting change we remove some stuff in our lives that are not helping us get to that goal. 

It might not even be related to sinful things, it could simple be you wanted to get healthier or to focus more on your family, or even learn more with your career. We set goals and then we change things up or remove them all together to help us get to that goal. 

The original thought was how important it is to remove all sin from our lives. The growing of the green onions with just a drop of water was the perfect example of how things can still grow if not completely removed. 

When we choose to better our lives by removing the things that hinder us, we need to FULLY remove them. 

You can't struggle with over spending of money you don't have and plan on keeping that one secret credit card....just in case. 

You can't struggle with infidelity and keep that one last hook up ....just because you are now only friends...,and it is just on Facebook. 

You can't struggle with porn and plan on keep that one site unlocked....because you don't go there anymore

You can't struggle with anger and plan on reserving that one out break for that one time someone does ......(fill in the blank). 

When things left untouched like that and are not fully removed from our lives they grow just like those stinky green onions did. 

You may wonder how the heck do you fully remove the things hindering you from your life. You may want full freedom and may even have victory for a while only to find out it was secretly still there and you can't seem to shake that temptation. 

Accountability 

Being accountable to friends, leaders, and mentors will help you see all those hidden spots. There will be things you didn't even realize was a problem but someone else might see it. And I mean fully accountable. Not just "i am good" but you are not telling them about the hidden credit cards just in case, that one friend on Facebook that you still send msg to...so you can catch up, the one inappropriate site not locked...because you never go to that. 

You have to be open and allow friends to see you..truly see you. 

Back to the green onions. 

They were pushed to the side. 

They were not causing any harm. 

They went un-noticed and grew. 

I have 7 people in my family but no one was helping me "look" for things out of place. It is totally ok to have friends that are just there and don't know all your secrets but make sure that you have friends who see all the dark corners and can ask questions like " hey did you mean to leave this here, did you want this to be growing" 

The only reason to not have friends like that is if you are not really ready for change. 

Find friends, pray about finding mentors, who have your back and can help you up-root anything that might hinder you from growing into a stronger you! 

You are so worth it. If you feel like no one will understand the junk you need to remove then the enemy is doing exactly what he wants to with you. He is tricking you. You are not alone!! Holy cow my story alone is full of thousands of secrets that I felt I couldn't tell. Now that I have victory and can openingly talk about those hidden areas...I have found so many people who went though or are going through the same things. 

You are not alone and you most definitely are not the first person to struggle with whatever the heck you are struggling with. There have been others and if you allow God to work, he will bring people into you life who can help. 

Update: I wrote this Saturday night and here it is Tuesday. The green onions still sit on my counter and have grown another inch or so. The roots are getting intertwined with the base of the flower pot and I have made the decision to just go ahead and add dirt to the roots so they can grow there.  

This is also very similar to how we do things in our lives. We have sin in our lives that we don't fully get rid up and then the roots start growing. The longer we go without addressing the issue the longer the roots have time to go deep. Eventually we just except the roots. Eventually we just except the sin. We give  them a place in our lives and accept that it is just the way I am. I have been like this for so long. I don't remember not having these roots ( this sin) as part of my life. I must just be an over spending. I must just not be one who can be faithful to my spouse...I mean I am only human. 

This is a lie. Sin never needs to have a permit place in our lives. It is true, we are all human. We live in a fallen world and we have all sinned but it does NOT have to take root. Jesus died for you. He died for me. He is the Son of God  His death and resurrection has ALL power to uproot anything that has a strong hold on you or in you. 

This is only possible though knowing that and a believing that and accountability to others. 

Thoughts for Tuesday : post 1 needing others around you to help set the pace

A while back I was driving at night to pick Gabi up from church. I was happily driving with hardly any other people on the road. After some time a car passed me going very fast...or so it seemed. I checked my speed only to find I was going 7 miles below the speed limit.

I ,of course, quickened my speed to "catch up" to the normal range.  I found this humorous and quickly thought of how this anology apples to our actual lives. When we go though life it is important to be aware of who we are spending time with. We seem to naturally fall into a pace of those around us. For me, I personally applied this to my walk with God. For others it could be applied to their jobs or talents. If we are spending most of our time with someone who is not where we want to be then we may need to reevaluate the amount of time we spend with them. 

I am not saying to chuck all your friends out the window who aren't making the income you want to make or drive the car you want to drive. I am saying that if they are lazy and maybe have the "I couldn't give a crap" attitude then maybe spend less time with them. 

If you are wanting to grow deeper in your walk with God and you are spending a huge portion of time with people who are comfortable where they are then remember you will naturally fall into a  pace that the majority of the group is going. If you want to change your pace then pray about changing your majority. 

Seek out friends, leaders, and people to guide you.. who are where you want to be. 

When left on our own we tend to do like I did driving.....feel like you were right on track only to find out you were off when someone sipped passed you. 

Having a group you are part of keeps you accountable and helps you stay at a safe pace that allows you to grow and move forward. 

When good things distract.

I had a very eye opening moment the other day. It caused me to re-evaluate how I pray about many things.
On Thursday I had terrible pain in my ear and I prayed about it. I again had terrible pain and prayed about it...and this went on about 5 more times. I prayed every time there was pain and I thanked God for my healing. It took about 7 times but I was healed. No more pain. The next day I thought hmmm, I will just do the same thing for my arms and legs where the eczema is. I will thank God for my healing every time I thought about it.  So I did. I prayed about it...and my back starting hurting..so I added that to the prayer.
Friday afternoon I was driving home and a guy ran a red light and I hit him as I went through the green light.
No one was injured but throughout the rest of the day I could feel my back starting to hurt more and more. I knew I wasnt hurt but was confused on the pain. I then realized it was because I slammed on brakes so hard and kept my foot there for so long that the muscle were just very tensed.
Saturday morning I get up and my back felt a little better but was still so stinking sore at the hip.
I pray for my back, my hips, and healing in with my eczema. I told my self "The devil wont win, I will thank God for my healing all day"
I felt that the enemy was distracting me from my healing with eczema by trying to have other things flair up.
As I spent only a little while praying and thanking God for my healing I got a huge revelation. The enemy did not distract me with one injury to keep my from another, he was distracting me by allowing me to focus on ME.
It had only been a few moments but I had already set my mind to thank God all day for MY healing. I had made the resolve to...no matter what...thank God for what he has done for ME, what God is doing for ME, and what He will do for ME when it comes to MY healing and MY health.

Monday nights we have a church wide women's bible study. We are doing the Beth Moore -Daniel- bible study.
She has been talking about how our culture now days still has the Babylonia mentality. We have the "I am, and there is no one beside me" like it says in Isaiah 47: 8,10

King Nebuchadnezzar built a huge statue for others to bow down to. He had the "I am, and there is no one beside me" mentality.

Now days, we have that same thought pattern. We go though life and it is all about MY job, MY money, MY family, MY home, MY car.

Here was the tricky part and it almost got me. We are to thank God for our healing. We are to thank him for the things he has, is, and will do in our lives. We are supposed to let our full lives glorify him and the words out of mouth glorify him.

I was doing it all right

except

it was all wrong.

I was having a "I am, and there is no one beside me" I wasn't praying for anyone else. I was utilizing all my words on my self and not a single word on praying for someone else to be healed, to be held by God's grace and love. I wasn't praying for marriages to be saved or for children to grow strong.
I was only praying for me and what I want.

So I changed my resolve. I decided to beat the devil at his game.
I still thank God for my healing throughout the full day.
But, I changed it up.
I thanked God and then on purpose...prayed for someone else's healing.
I thanked God again when I thought about it (which was about every 2 mins b/c my arms itched or my back hurt) and then I prayed for another person to be healed.

I did this all day Saturday and I am continuing this from here on out. I will always double up my prayers and thankfulness for my self with another prayer and thankfulness for someone else.
So far I have prayed for a ton of people that I would have not of been praying for and guess what....
my back pain, hip pain, and ear pain are 100% gone.
I am still walking out healing for the eczema but in the mean time I will being pairing it up with other people's prayers. 


Are there things in your life that may be all right but still wrong? Are there things that the enemy has done such a crafty job and tricked you into having a "I am, and there is no one beside me" mentality?

I knew I was about to be on TV.

This morning I am at the YMCA with my best friend and I see a woman walk in that looks familiar. I think to myself " I bet she is a news lady and I am going to be interviewed" I laugh at this thought and then carried on with my work out. 

Mary and I moved on to the weights and I head over to the leg press. My twin and I talked about it yesterday and she can leg press something like 350lbs. 

I wanted a go at this limit. 

I walk over and the thought again comes and I was like, man this is where I am going to be interviewed. I don't know why I thought it but I just knew. 

I know I can't do the same weight at Melinda ( who rocks) so I set it at 50lbs. It was to easy. I move it to 90 lb. Easy as pie ....yummy, but we can't talk of pie...I have goals to reach....I then move the weights up to 150lbs... That was somewhat of a struggle and so I mentally pulled my back injury card and told myself I need to be gentle and not push it even though it did move.....some. I set the weights down to 120 and found the perfect place. I was getting my jam on and around the corner the news lady pokes her head and says she is with News 2 and would I be ok with some pictures of myself going on tv. I said sure I was ok with that, and then they said " it might just be your legs, we don't need to get any faces." I said ok but let me back up some for this part of the story. 

This summer when we went to Washington state I ate some pineapple and had an allergic reaction. This then triggered some type of eczema or psoriasis on my arms and legs and has since given my tons of problems. I am very self conscious about the redness on my legs and look forward to colder months because of pants and the cooler weather bc the heat makes it hurt more. Because it is a new thing I am still working out how I want to approach it and right now I am using how I eat to prayfully help and heal from the inside out. 

This morning I change out of my exercise pants because it had a small tear in the seam and I made the choice to put on shorts. I had pants to put on but I thought maybe if I can get victory over this being self conscious thing maybe it can help someone else have victory too. 

I chose shorts 

I go to gym. 

I get interviewed and they only want video of my legs. 

"Lord, that is funny. I am not feeling the victory yet, I am just choosing to walk it out and now they will be possibly all over News 2 in the next month." 

They ask for permission to do full video and ask me my thoughts on storing my phone inside my sports bra while exercising. I told them I don't because I have heard it can cause Breast cancer. So that is on camera also. The camera guy ends it with video of how much weights I have used and I had moved it down to 90lbs at this point. I later told him that if I had known he was going to get the amount I would have moved it up to 200lbs.  Hehehe. 

When they asked to interview me I said ok but that I was a hot mess. She said we can give you a few mins if you would like. I told her it would not help. 

Here is my selfie from working out. 

I get very red. 

My lesson I am learning is everyone has something to hide. For many of us it is a physical mark or how we feel about our bodies. For others it can be a past regret they want to hide and even others it could be a heart issue or sin they want to hide. It could be a dirty room or the way you yell at your kids or spouse. So many things get hidden and if we all just agreed to bring things to the light then it makes it less scary or shameful. 

So if you seeing me being brave and wearing shorts or a shorter dress maybe it will help you be comfortable to bring your hidden things to the light. Share it with me and we can have victory together! 

My friend Mary and Melinda both said to be thankful that I have two strong legs to walk on. So I am blessed. I am happy. I am still self conscious but grateful for the ability to move. 

Mothers in all countries.

This Labor Day weekend has been packed full. We had a four day weekend and used every inch of it for play time. 

Friday night we did our mock camping. 

We were supposed to head out of town for an actual camping trip and when that got canceled we decided to go ahead and camp in our own space. It was wonderful. We did s'mores over our little fire pit and listen to the crickets ( and helipcotors, firetrucks, and police cars) throughout the night. We woke up with the sun and played in the yard even before going inside for breakfast. I would love for every morning to start with outside play! 

That afternoon we went hiking and exploring and Edward Waren Park. 

In between some bickering and complaining everyone had a good time. 

We went to mckays after that before heading home. 

Sunday Jerry and I got to go to some friend's home and pray over their new home. We got to pray with them and over them for God to bless their new season. 

Monday we got to go swimming with our sweet Finnish friends. They are here in America for one year and we met last school year ( March 2015) when our daughters where in kindergarten together. The kids had lots of fun. We haven't been swimming that much this summer so they were glad to sneak in another swim before cold weather gets here. We ended the night with one last tent sleeping and s'mores. 

Today miss Ava had a play date with a new friend and I got to hangout with the mom. We all had a wonderful time and then ended the day with more friends coming over for dinner. 

Throughout my weekend I got to hang out with 4 different moms. Including myself,we were from different walks of life, different age groups, and even different countries. Some were new Christians, older Christians, and figuring out what that means-christians. We all looked different and sounded different but despite all the differences we were the same. We are moms. God has giving us all the awesome responsibility to care for children. We want to be all the God has called us to be and we want to be all that our kids need us to be. We want to have a clean home and clean kids. We want to provide good meals for our family  and a peaceful place for our husband to come home to. We want to shower without someone knocking on the door for the immediate answer of "Can I have some goldfish?" 

Haha. I just had to throw that last one in there bc it is so true. 

The thing that so brightly stood out this weekend are that cultures can be scary and they can be unknown. Words can go misunderstood because of a language barrier and it seems easier to just skip over that conversation or better yet that person because it is to hard to talk to each other. Beliefs and standards are different based on where someone grew up and this cause us to embrace those differences or to avoid them all together. It is easier to avoid. 

It is easier to stay in our own group, with our own language, with our own belief group. 

God does not want us to stay. 

He wants us to talk to that mom who looks different then you. He wants you to make a play date with that mom who's speaks another language, it may be hard...but it may not be. You are both learning, so be kind about it. They are ok with you saying you don't understand what they said. 

All moms need other moms to be friends with. 

ALL MOMS need to know they are not alone. 

They need to know that their child throwing food on the floor is not the end of the world (or the food for that matter if you go by the 10 second rule ) 

Being a mother is such a gift from God.  Whether we are a mother through adoption or birth our hearts are the same. It is one full of overwhelming love for our child and that looks the same in our countries. 

Make friends with a mom who looks different then you and you will find you have a lot more in common then you might have first thought. 

It is finished.

How many times do we get to say it is finished? Or do we usually say I quit or I am moving on, it isn't for me...

I have many unfinished projects around the house and ideas that never get put into action. I have thoughts and sentences that never get finished and dinner plates half eaten. I have papers sorted but have yet to be filed and laundry yet to be put away. I even have raised garden beds already purchased but still waiting to be put together. There is also a pile of fabric to be sewn and canvas to be painted. 

I believe we get so busy that even though we start out with good intentions we end up having to drop something because we are over booked. 

I am super great at starting lots of things but I don't usually get to see the finished product. Some of  this is just life and others are because of time management on my part. 

The thing I actually did finish is simple but it means so much to me. 

I LOVE everything about new journals, pens, and office supplies in general. The problem with that is i have a handful of half used journals....all of them amazing. 

I have one for my personal bible time and another one for my church bible time. 

Of course I would, I love journals. 

This summer while traveling I took only one of those with me and when we got back in town I misplaced the other one. 

I decided to go all crazy and just finish out the one journal. *gasp* 

With school starting back up I have been getting up early and daily writing in my journal. I have prayers in it, scriptures in it, ideas for skits written out, and just plain old doodling in it. Yesterday I fully finished out the journal. I used 100% of the pages. Front to back is filled to the brim and I love it! I am proud of my self for finishing strong. 

It is along the lines of setting a small goal like my exercising 7 times this month. I wanted to finish out this book and I did. 

I happily have many other journals to choose from and finishes those out ( one of them being my new Spider-Man journal) 

Today I started a new -old- journal. There will be many prayers in there and possibly some skits that might one day get used. The bigger picture with this is that I finished something. The bigger picture is what goes in the journals. The bigger picture is the lessons learned and lessons taught from these notes. 

It may just be a journal but it is something that years from now my kids and grandkids will be able to pick up to read and truly see the heart of who I was. 

It is ok to take time

Like millions of other people, jerry and I live very busy lives. We have multiple responsibilities that take us all over the place. It is a normal day for me to go from one title to the next. I am a mom, wife, sister, child, leader, minister, teacher, photographer, house cleaner, chef, and business partner with jerry for cornhole and Advocare. 

I think as moms it is easy for us to get lost in the titles we hold. They sometimes block our view of what is important. It doesn't mean the titles are bad, it just means that we have to -on purpose- set them aside and keep our vision focused. It may look different for some moms depending on what you believe and how you live your life but it doesn't change the  fact that without focus our "vision" gets blurred and we stumble. 

I have not yet fully mastered this habit in the summer when alarm clocks do not wake but during the school year I choose to wake up just a little earlier then needed to put God first. 

You have probably heard this before so hang with me if you have but imagine a bucket where you have to fit a few large rocks, sand, water, and small pebbles into the bucket. If you add all water first then anything else that you add will simply make a mess. If you add sand first and fill it up you won't be able to add but maybe a few pebbles and a small amount of water. When you do it with the right balance you can add it all in. You can add the important things first, for me it's God then family. Then you can add it the small pebbles, things like sports or even servicing somewhere like your kids school or church. Next you add in the sand, things that are just simple- no important things ( I won't even out examples bc it can be so different for each family) The last is the water, when you keep your priorities in order it all works out. If you are having a hard time knowing which is the big rocks and which is the water then ask friends that your trust, pray about what to keep and what to drop. God is always faithful in helping me see what is the big things in life. 

I have also found that because I give so much of my self to those other titles that I easily lose the one I started out with. 

ME.  

I have so many things I love to do. When I don't get to have me time I can feel the stress build up. I can feel the bitterness creeping in. I can feel the depression settling like a fog. At first I don't know what it is, I see my bad attitude. I am aware of it at times but don't always see the cause of it. Now that I am getting a bit older I am more skilled to see when things start to shimmy its way out of order. If I don't put God first then things splash out of the "bucket" making a mess. 

I also have to take time to do what I love or I become I mess. My down time is just that...downtime. 

God did not give each of us these fun giftings and desires to just have in the back of our mind behind all the titles we hold. He gave you those things that bring you joy to do just that...bring you joy. The shocking thing is this - it will bring others joy as well. 

Happy people are beautiful. 

Tonight after the kids dinner of....wait for it....

Cinnamon toast ( see Instagram post) 

I came to my room and colored. I love art and I love poetry. That is a gifting of mine and it brings me joy. I can guarantee that my family will also have joy as I have ME time. 

I may still be tired tomorrow but I am refreshed. I chose God first thing this morning.  I chose family today and after school. I am choose me this evening and all order is in place. 

Is the order of what goes in your "bucket" a work in progress or do you already have it with a pretty good system? I would love to hear how you help balance out your titles to keep your vision focused.