Mary and I moved on to the weights and I head over to the leg press. My twin and I talked about it yesterday and she can leg press something like 350lbs.
I wanted a go at this limit.
I walk over and the thought again comes and I was like, man this is where I am going to be interviewed. I don't know why I thought it but I just knew.
I know I can't do the same weight at Melinda ( who rocks) so I set it at 50lbs. It was to easy. I move it to 90 lb. Easy as pie ....yummy, but we can't talk of pie...I have goals to reach....I then move the weights up to 150lbs... That was somewhat of a struggle and so I mentally pulled my back injury card and told myself I need to be gentle and not push it even though it did move.....some. I set the weights down to 120 and found the perfect place. I was getting my jam on and around the corner the news lady pokes her head and says she is with News 2 and would I be ok with some pictures of myself going on tv. I said sure I was ok with that, and then they said " it might just be your legs, we don't need to get any faces." I said ok but let me back up some for this part of the story.
This summer when we went to Washington state I ate some pineapple and had an allergic reaction. This then triggered some type of eczema or psoriasis on my arms and legs and has since given my tons of problems. I am very self conscious about the redness on my legs and look forward to colder months because of pants and the cooler weather bc the heat makes it hurt more. Because it is a new thing I am still working out how I want to approach it and right now I am using how I eat to prayfully help and heal from the inside out.
This morning I change out of my exercise pants because it had a small tear in the seam and I made the choice to put on shorts. I had pants to put on but I thought maybe if I can get victory over this being self conscious thing maybe it can help someone else have victory too.
I chose shorts
I go to gym.
I get interviewed and they only want video of my legs.
"Lord, that is funny. I am not feeling the victory yet, I am just choosing to walk it out and now they will be possibly all over News 2 in the next month."
They ask for permission to do full video and ask me my thoughts on storing my phone inside my sports bra while exercising. I told them I don't because I have heard it can cause Breast cancer. So that is on camera also. The camera guy ends it with video of how much weights I have used and I had moved it down to 90lbs at this point. I later told him that if I had known he was going to get the amount I would have moved it up to 200lbs. Hehehe.
When they asked to interview me I said ok but that I was a hot mess. She said we can give you a few mins if you would like. I told her it would not help.
Here is my selfie from working out.
I get very red.
My lesson I am learning is everyone has something to hide. For many of us it is a physical mark or how we feel about our bodies. For others it can be a past regret they want to hide and even others it could be a heart issue or sin they want to hide. It could be a dirty room or the way you yell at your kids or spouse. So many things get hidden and if we all just agreed to bring things to the light then it makes it less scary or shameful.
So if you seeing me being brave and wearing shorts or a shorter dress maybe it will help you be comfortable to bring your hidden things to the light. Share it with me and we can have victory together!
My friend Mary and Melinda both said to be thankful that I have two strong legs to walk on. So I am blessed. I am happy. I am still self conscious but grateful for the ability to move.