Thursday, September 7, 2017

VIdeo games-the silent killer.

I read an article the other day that said something along the idea that more and more kids are having a hard time focusing at school. They are exhausted at the end of the school hour and it isn't because of physical activity, their brains are so tired from thinking. (This is my take away for the article) So many kids are on electronics now days and they don't have to think much past the next level of a game. When the brain does have to work at school it is physically exhausting and exhausted kids can mean cranky kids. We are raising up weak kids and we don't even see it because the results are not immediate.
Parents say- "But my kid cries when I take away the game...etc"
That is called an addiction and you are the parent. I 100% believe that you want the best for them and if they were being attacked you would fight with every single fiber of your body to protect them  so why not fight for them now?
Prep their hearts and minds before the actual time you take the device  away. Prep activities for them to do.⬅️ This is the kicker for so many parents, prepping things for their kids to do. We live in a world that is racing full steam ahead like a raging river and there is no time for a leisurely swim or floating. Maybe we as parents need to set boundaries for our own mind growth and rest.
(Example➡️) Tell the kids....tell your self...."Starting every Tuesday, we are not doing electronics past 5:00 pm." You might have to set a small goal like this for a couple of weeks. Maybe you are a go big or go home person and just want to rip the band-aid off fast and need to start for the beginning -no electronics past 5 pm every day- Start small or Start big, just start.
Next, put your kids to work 😉
What I mean is get them active in something creative.
Maybe make a fort in your living room and leave it up for 3 days. I have found that my kid's imagination grows with the more consecutive days they are using it. Video games one day and imagination the next day and back to video games just seems to make them have a bad attitude on the imagination days and that is no fun for anyone.
Buy water colors, cheap plastic cutting boards (to put the paper to paint on), and white printer paper or coloring books and let them go to town on painting. Watercolor is a super easy clean up.
Set up their action figures or stuffed animals in an epic battle or tea party, set the stage for imagination to kick.
Last point: i know we are all busy parents, I have 5 kids so I get it. The idea of sitting with my kids to play, well,I don't sit and play with my kids.
Does that sound mean?
Well I don't.
I don't like playing tea party or Barbies. I don't want to have an epic battle wth the action figures. . I do however, love art and cooking and we do those things together. Pick something fun to do together and do it. But get this...your kids can play without you. It is healthy. So, help you kids learn better, be better, and act better by allowing their minds to grow through imagination play time.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Lessons from a 40 year old mom

Lessons from a 40 yr old mom

Today, Jan 13, is my birthday. I don't know if it is the age or just the spot I am in with life, but I am really happy and content in who I am now. I have learned so many things along the way and wrote down just a few today. 
  1. Be nice to everyone. It is not for them, it is for you. You feel better when you are kind and feeling better benefits your health is a positive way. 
  2. Always serve those around you. I promise you, if your heart is in the right place of simply being a help you will never walk away from a situation and think "boy, that sure sucked to serve and be helpful" 
  3. Snot and boogies wash out....poop...not so much. 
  4. The golden rule is 100% a must. *Treat others as you want to be treated*. If you want to be treated like crap it is simply because you are reacting from a broken place and deep down you want to be treated with kindness, love, and respect. 
  5. No person who is living a Godly life now and wasn't when they got married would ever say " I am so glad I had sex before marriage." I would venture out to say that most of them would agree ( if they waited) that waiting for the one God has for them and being pure for their marriage night was a million times worth it. 
  6. Always get to a party a moment before and stay after if possible and help set up and tear down. The host may say no but stay and be available to help when needed. 
  7. Never go to church or your quite time with God without having a notebook and pen. Without one you are setting your self up to not hear from Him. Go into his presence expecting to hear him and be ready to write it down. He likes to talk. We don't like to listen. 
  8. Having lots of kids is more fun. It does get easier. I promise. 
  9. Always, always, always ask God for help and creative ideas for any and all situations. He comes through every single time. 
  10. Forgive. Yes, even that one person, who more than anyone else, in your entire life, doesn't deserve it. 
  11. Dream and dream big and then take steps to reach those dreams. 
  12. You will get angry at those precious angels you gave birth to or whoever calls you mom. React slowly. 
  13. If your child is running in the parking lot and about to be hit by a car, it is 100% ok to grab her ponytail and yank. Do not feel guilty about it. You just saved her life. 
  14. File those infants soft finger nails. If you cut you will almost always, at least once, make them bleed. It is ok. They won't die....cry yes, die-no. 
  15. If you are married and starting to feel hate or dislike, or even a lack of love for your spouse, ask God to turn your heart toward your spouse. Talk to God and pray "thank you for ____ help me to forgive, love, etc. Heal this area of my heart or this area of our marriage and then DAILY tell God how much you love your spouse. DAILY thank  God for any and all the things your spouse does. If you have zero things you are happy about ask God to show you something.  Believe me, this works. God is for marriages and has a million ideas of things you can thank Him for concerning your spouse. Simply ask him to show you. 
  16. Do not accept a life of aches and pain and bad health. God has designed everyone's body to heal from sickness. He did not forget to include your body in that. A car runs with proper fueling and your body does too. You are worth taking the time to research what your body needs to work the way it was designed. 
  17. God is real and His Son, Jesus, is the only way to heaven. If you have trouble understanding that and believing it I encourage you to not take my word for it, ask God himself.  Don't get to the end of your life and find out your belief was wrong, that consequence is too much to take, Hell is not a joke or pretend horror movie. 
  18. God is bigger than the permanent. He is bigger than the permanent diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, he is bigger than the permanent diagnosis of a hereditary blood clotting disorder, God is bigger than the permanent _________ You fill in the blank with your permanent problem. God is always and will always be bigger than what ever you are facing. Your FACT is never bigger than God's TRUTH.
  19. If you give a mom of young kids a gift card to get some sort of massage or manicure, it better come with the offer to babysit. Many gifts cards get wasted on moms who never get to use them bc who the heck is going to watch that sweet baby that they need a break from? Don't say dad, he is at work. 
  20. Words have power. This is true for all religions, it is not just a weird christian  "speak it and believe it" thing. There are tons of books out there that talk about the power of positive talk. I tell my kids, speak what you want to happen, not what is happening. Ex: kid -"I suck at baseball or math....etc." Me- " do you want to suck at baseball?" Kid-"no" Me- " than talk to God, tell him you think you are terrible at this and want to get better then start thanking him on getting better, Thank you Lord for helping me get better at____."
  21. Someone feeling strongly about their convictions does not mean it has to be yours. The Bible is the only guide line you need to walk a straight line. 
  22. No one enters into marriage wanting to get a divorce so work at it. Don't give up. Marriage and raising kids is the hardest job and relationships you will ever have. God is bigger than your crappy marriage and even your disobedient kids. If you are in an abusive marriage, seek help immediately. If you enter into a marriage knowing you will want a divorce before it even starts or you are just in it for the money, seek help immediately, ask for guidance and prayer.  If you feel your  kids are the cause to you losing your mind, seek help immediately. 
  23. You are not alone. There is not a single thing on this earth that you have thought, done, had done to you, or thinking about doing, that has not already been done before. You are not alone. I promise you. 
  24. Baby steps in the right direction is better than sitting on your butt moving in no direction. #steponetochange
  25. Be obedient in the small things like coming to a complete stop at stop signs or putting your shopping cart up in the proper area helps you practice being obedient in the bigger areas of life that really matter.   
  26. Stop fighting about the toilet seat not being put down when he is done, he has to lift it up every time, so you having to put it down each time is no different.  
  27. Using a kitchen timer and setting it for 10 or 15 mins to clean a room before the timer goes off will save your life, your sanity, and being on a episode of Hoarders. 
  28. If you think you have food in your teeth you probably do, never assume you don't.
  29. Being fat does not make a person ugly, being skinny does not make a person pretty. A kind and genuine heart makes a person beautiful.
  30. Not being healed immediately can also be part of God's plan. Having surgery for something does not admit failure or lack of faith, sometimes it takes more faith to go through that then to just be healed. 
  31. Don't tell someone "Wow, you look so skinny" It is neither a compliment or insult it is just a statement and hard to respond to.
  32. When someone has lost a loved one and you have no idea what to say....say that..."I  have no idea what to say but i am here for you" It means the world. 
  33. When someone loses a baby (pregnancy), do not say any of the above-" Well at least you have other kids or at least you are young enough to try again or at least you are still alive or at least you were not further along. Losing a pregnancy, no matter how it panned out, is hard and those statements are stupid and do not, ever, in any situation, help the person getting over the hurt. 
  34. Learn to cook, it will bless you and those around you for years and years to come.
  35. Open your home to others and show them what a real, Jesus loving, we have messes, we fight and make up, goofy family looks like. It may be the only one they have ever seen. 
  36. Tell your family how much you love them and let them know you are proud of them. Imagine a marathon, You are in the race and at certain markers you have water stands to refresh you on this long, hard race. Your kids, your spouse, your boss, you....are all in a race of life and it is exhausting and we need people who can stand along the side lines to provide refreshment to our souls. Let your home and your words be the certain markers for refreshment. Do not dare be the one tearing down your family members with your words because they are a terrible student, they always forget something, they are clumsy...You pray for them and ask God for creative ways to speak to their gentle hearts to learn something new. 
  37. Breast feeding is best. Bottle feeding is best. Your baby being healthy and fed is best. It is more important to give your child what works for you and your family then to try and fit into the - perfect -breast is best- peer pressure.
  38. Do not depend on humans to fulfill you, we are all full of crap and will fail you at every corner you turn. We are human and you are designed to fully need God and can only be fulfilled by God. Even if we do every. single. thing. right. it will still be wrong. Remember those kid toys that had square, circle, diamond, and triangle shapes in the top and the toddle had to match up the toy with the right shape to fit it. Remember the frustration the toddle had because as much as they tried, that circle would not, could not, fit into that triangle hole. We do that with our lives, we rely on people to make us happy and we work really hard on trying to fit it into our lives. But, that filling of discontent is meant to only be filled by God and no other shape can fill it. 
  39. Dry shampoo is awesome, shaving legs is not. 
  40. A vehicle will not run if it is not filled up. You can not function if you are not filled up. Getting in God's word and his presence is 100% for you and not God. If you read your bible and pray every day God loves you so much and if you are miss hoochie mama over there and doing drugs and using the Lord's name in vain with every other word, God loves you so much. Your actions will never change that. Reading God's word is for our benefit, When the enemy wants to attack us, we will be ready for battle when we read the Word. It is a double edge sword. When the enemy attacks and we aren't reading the Word, we crumble at the first punch, we have no weapons to fight with.