Monday, November 28, 2016

Time has changed me

I have been giving one body, one mind, and one heart. It is worth the argument to say that I am stuck with this person, it is who I am and who I will always be. I used to say that I am not organized, that I am sporadic, and can't stick to a schedule. While this is hugely true about my natural tendency and my personality it does not mean I have to be stuck in that if I don't want to. I wanted to change. I wanted the comfort of knowing that Thursday is laundry day and Monday is -go through the mail-day. I wanted to know that at 9 I go to the gym and work out. I didn't like getting a phone call that my water would be turned off because I haven't paid the bill in a month, or having no clean laundry because it has been forever since clothes have been washed or put away. I didn't like feeling sore and weak over simple activities because I had no muscles.
Year after year I would sit down and set a schedule only to fall short after 2 weeks. I became the Queen of the 2 week plan.
I planned out days for going through bills. I planned out days for cleaning clothes and cleaning bathrooms. I planned out days for working out at the gym, at home, outside, and even with a friend. I have tied and tired and always failed. It would be safe to ask my self..why keep trying?
Because.
Because I am worth it.
I know that God has giving me the ability to grow in who I am. I wanted to grow and never gave up.
This year I am so far past the 2 week mark of sticking to something that I am patting my self on the back for this small victory. I have prayed for years for things and even when i failed again and again I kept at it. I knew God was faithfully and it would happen, I just didn't know when.
I am still on a path of growth...shouldn't we all be? But I am encouraged because I see tiny changes. Every Thursday I have all the laundry washed now and the kids put theirs away. Every Monday ( mostly) I go through bills and file away papers.
I am still working on the regular gym time but My husband and I do walk every Wednesday and Friday now. This is huge for me.

What things have you told yourself won't or can't  change? Do you get angry like your father and just assume -like father like son?
Do you spend all your money on clothes and shoes just like your mom?
Do you stay so strict to your schedule that you never have spontaneous fun?
Or do you live so spontaneous that your life feels chaotic and you are never on time, always forget dates, and can't plan ahead for your future?

The point is...that may be how you naturally bend in your personality but it doesn't mean you are stuck.
You are in control of your actions....no matter how out of control you may feel at times. You have the ability to grow into a better you. It may take time, it may even take years but never give up on YOU.
Take a day and write out dreams you have had. If you can't figure out how in the world to reach those dreams, let me know, let someone you know that can help you and pray with you. Having accountability with your thoughts and ideas is the best place to start.
You can do this. Even if you have to take it so slow that the rest of 2016 is thinking about your dreams, planning out your dreams, and talking about your dreams so that you are able to hit the ground running in 2017 than that is A-OK. You work at your pace but just keep moving. Remember a baby step forward is better than no step and sitting on your butt.
I am giving myself and my family a new me.